Written and directed by Bridgette Ong, an Asian mother accidentally discovers her daughter’s sexuality and struggles to accept her for who she is, over Chinese New Year. Starring: Sherry Tao, Lynn Chia, Yong Jun and Patricia Hwan.

Pretty much every queer teen’s nightmare is to have their parents unexpectedly discover their sexuality before they’ve figured out how to tell them. To be thrown in at the deep end, especially when their reaction is likely to be harsh and unforgiving. How to Love You explores that moment and its aftermath, how that reality alters the relationship between parent and child in a family with traditional values. It dives into the repressed emotions and generational perspectives. The idea that these parents have been shaped by their society to see their child being gay as them sacrificing a happy life. As well as how the children have to then have the patience to give those parents a chance to open up their minds and respect their children’s path.

It’s a heavy topic and Bridgette Ong’s directorial style respects that but also doesn’t make the atmosphere feel overwhelming or morose. It has an accessible approach, with a stillness and focus that lets each moment speak for itself. There’s a simplicity to those choices which enables a larger complexity to the story. The tone and emotion which the writing and performances are bringing doesn’t need extra flash or edge, simply letting them flow is more than enough. Ong also creates an intimate tone, doing very well to tap into that vital and formative relationship between mother and daughter.

Another critical element in the flow and emotion of the story is the natural way that Sherry Tao and Lynn Chia bring this mother and daughter to life. Both of their performances are extremely relatable and sympathetic. Ong makes it easy to see the story through both of their perspectives. Tao’s Mary struggles with that mental block in being taught so strongly to see being gay as a negative and punishing thing. There’s a great note of trying, Tao makes it clear the internal conflict of that traditional mindset and wanting to stay connected to her child. Whereas Chia captures again the wish to hold onto that relationship but also the need to be herself and be respected for who she is. It delves into the topic of self-identity and self-worth, with Chia’s Evelynn taking a genuine, healthy stand which is great to see.

How to Love You explores the conflict between trying to maintain relationships and refusing to be something you’re not. Capturing the fear of any young queer person trying to find that balance between respecting yourself and respecting your family. The writing is moving, the direction is nicely understated and focused, and the performances are strongly emotional. It’s great to see how stories of coming out are evolving, having characters not simply rail against close-minded parents or to be thrown out in the streets but to see them make conscious, responsible choices. Attempting to continue a relationship while keeping in mind their own happiness, showing the modern era of having more awareness of mental health.

Verdict: ✯✯✯✯ | 8/10

Make your own verdict by watching How to Love You below